Eddyville, KY

Opinion

Time for high fructose corn syrup and tar

Wednesday, April 12, 2017 - Updated: 1:01 AM
By Jody Norwood jnorwood@heraldledger.com

Easter may be my second favorite celebration day, right there behind Halloween but ahead of Leif Erikson Day.

Now, I didn't say 'holiday' because there's still plenty of work to be done by most folks on most days now.

Celebrating holidays -- times set aside to remember someone with reverence or to spend with loved ones -- are fewer and fewer these days.

Mostly, we just keep right on working while a few get to celebrate.

But Easter deserves to be one of those days were set aside and recognize.

For Christians, it's a significant day of importance, one of the major acts that define the religion: the Resurrection of Christ.

For everyone else, American marketing has made sure that it's got something for you, too. Namely, the worlds most confusing confectionery.

I'm talking about Peeps.

In nearly four decades roaming this planet, I've yet to discover anything more confounding than the appeal of overly sweetened marshmallows designed as brightly colored birds.

The Rodda Candy Company creation was the answer to the question nobody was asking, namely, "What happens when you combine high fructose corn syrup with tar?"

It's grown from an odd fascination of cheap Easter basket fillers to a world-wide phenomenon.

According to Fox News, over the weekend it also became a sport.

The news agency reported that "competitive eating champion Matt Stonie broke the world record for eating Peeps at the World Peeps Eating Championship in National Harbor, Md., devouring 255 of the sugar-coated marshmallow treats in just five minutes."

Amazing.

In five minutes he managed to consumer 253 more Peeps than I've had in 38 years!

In defense of the man also known as Megatoad, he also has "at one time or another, held the world record for most bacon consumed in five minutes (182 strips), most Moon Pies eaten in eight minutes (85) and most birthday cake consumed in eight minutes (14.5 pounds)," according to Fox.

That makes up for eating more than one Peep.

Apparently the buzz this year was three mystery flavors.

The revelation of maple syrup, grape and blueberry seemed of less importance than the overall claim that Peeps were supposed to have flavors. Any flavor.

And even more troubling was -- during the extension 15 minute research for this article -- it was discovered there were actually filled Peeps.

Filled with what?

Aside from future cavities, triple chocolate and vanilla caramel.

Thousands of kids will wake up Sunday morning and discover something soft and made of marshmallows.

At the Norwood house it will be s'mores, the only way a marshmallow deserves to be eaten.

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